I have such love/hate relationship with December.
Part of me is so bitter about its presence because I’m so in love with Fall. The other part of me appreciates finding cozy spots in coffee shops surrounded by mittens and scarves and chatter.
Or teeth chattering, depending on the temperature.
Today I decided to fall in love with December. I found myself walking several blocks to church, hands tucked in pockets, headphones in, watching people come and go into houses and churches lining the streets. I loved getting to the building, barely able to feel my fingers, and sitting down in a quiet corner listening to the band warm up to songs normally saved for Christmas.
I have also recently fallen in love with “my” church. For so long I haven’t been able to consistently attend one place. Fortunately, upon moving to my new apartment, I got introduced to Midtown on 12th. Something about having a place that is within walking distance and that is so small makes me feel so comfortable. However, the best part about it, is that I’m not comfortable. Midtown challenges me every time I go.
Last week in particular.
Despite what some would say about me, I’m a very logical person. I’m also a person that questions things. My mind just naturally wants to find out the truth of the matter. Its reflective and hungry for knowledge. Its rational in that way, if terribly irrational in others. Being this kind of person makes it difficult to be a believer. There is not much rational about believing in God or following Christ.
Now, before you slap a big “B” for blasphemer on me, hear me out.
I love Jesus. I believe in him and his story more than I believe in the ketchup bottle sitting next to me. Despite any questioning I have ever done or will ever do, this is innate in me. I’m a Christ-follower.
However, my brain cannot explain God. It also cannot explain or understand the process of Jesus coming to earth and covering my sins.
I’m ecstatic about the fact that he did. I’m in love for this reason.
But its still a struggle. Its a fight between my logical mind and my whimsical heart.
I want to talk more about why I believe what I do and how I have come to believe it. Not just say “it fell on me. it hit me like lightening”.
Granted, it did.
But there are also many reasons why I have this faith. Why I won’t unsubscribe to it. I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately and have had it brought up in many ways.
I hope you at least get a good read, if nothing else.
